Thursday, April 15, 2010

Am I a Bad Mom?

For the last day and a half I have been feeling really stressed/sad. Is it possible to get baby blues when your baby is 4 months old or is that just called depression lol. Anyway, I feel a little like my life is in some sort of horrible disarray and I can't catch up. Our apartment is in serious need of a clean, laundry is piling up around me, I don't even want to talk about how I look...and whoever the hell said the pounds just fall off while you are breastfeeding is a dirty liar. Am I doing something wrong? I mean, I am not the healthiest eater around but I think I am at least somewhat healthy...I eat things like chicken breast, yogurt, nuts, fruit, veggies, and a little cheese. I NEVER eat fast food and extremely rarely do I go out to eat...I usually cook. My downfall = sweets. But here is the thing, I really don't eat THAT many sweets...I have maybe one or two treats a week and its not like I'm eating an entire candy bar or a whole bag of chocolates. I also just got back into working out although, I do admit I'm not being super hardcore about it, it's more like I am easing back into working out. Nevertheless, why isn't the weight just falling off?! I have been exclusively breastfeeding for four and a half months and eating mostly healthy with a moderate workout 3 times a week. Is my occasional treat the culprit? What do I need to do to get this gross weight off?

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom. Each night as I go to bed I get excited for the next day because I get to spend it with Kamryn. I just have been feeling a little inadequate lately. Like I feel guilty for wanting to clean the house because I feel like I should be spending the time with Kammy instead. Is that crazy? Do other moms think this too or am I just a nut? Also, does anyone ever feel like they can't entertain their child enough? Lately, Kammy has been doing this loud grunting thing at me whenever she is bored with something. She will do it when I am taking a shower or making dinner or doing laundry and it makes me feel awful! I feel bad that I am boring her and fear that because I am not giving her my full attention, she is going to hate me or something. Am I paranoid or what? Ugh, I hope this feeling goes away because it sucks.

2 comments:

  1. aw, i'm sorry man. i feel like that sometimes and my son is 6 months old. i started jillian michaels 30 day shred though and it's inspiring me to get back into shape! you should check it out.

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  2. I haven't given birth, yet, so I don't know what you are going through, but maybe you should ask your dr check your thyroid. I hear a lot of women have problems after birth with thyroid problems. A slow thyroid = impossible to lose weight and mild depression! (take it from me, I have one!!)

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