Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's Been A While

so i haven't blogged since july...and to be honest, i haven't known what to write. while we're on the topic of honesty, i do want to say our little family isn't doing so hot. Kamryn is wonderful and she's getting so big...we love her just so much and are so proud of her. But the issue is that it has almost been a year and both Jeff and I have been out of work. Jeff was laid off a week after Kamryn was born. He's been applying to jobs like crazy and has been on a few interviews but with no luck. I feel like its the story of our luck. Its been really hard on us and we are both feeling pretty let down and lately, hopeless. Its sad and I hate it. I really want something to come through for one of us. I don't know how much longer I can try to be strong for all of us when I really just feel its not going to get any better. I just wish we could have a normal life instead of stressing over what we are going to do for careers, money, if and when we will be able to buy a house, what we did wrong to be in this situation in the first place, how to fix it, etc. At the same time, trying to not show our worry and stress to Kamryn is hard. I feel awful. She deserves parents who can provide her with security and right now, we are failing at that.

Thankfully, both our families have been extremely helpful to us. But I wish we could just get on our own two feet already. I'm ready for something to go right for us. I just hope it happens. Maybe that's the problem...I'm "hoping" and not "doing." What else can I do besides apply and apply and apply and ask everyone if they know of anyone is hiring? I feel like I'm one desperate step away from going door to door of businesses begging them to hire me and my husband. Pathetic, right?

On top of that, I'm fighting a sore throat and have no energy and I'm pretty sure Kamryn is feeling a little under the weather too because she is cranky. Oh and my body is all confused because its like 90 degrees outside and I'm sweating. Guess I'm just used to fall weather being cool...not here though.

We need help. we need JOBSSSSS.