Sunday, April 18, 2010

Leave it to Joycee

After a few days of feeling blah about my mothering skills, I opened an email tonight from my mother (joyce...aka joycee) that not only made me feel better, but I cried reading the entire thing...I thought it was so enlightening and cute. She sent me this:


After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She

said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you.'
* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years,
but the demands of my work and my two boys had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for
dinner and a movie.
* * *
'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a
late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.
* * *
'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some
time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'
* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick

her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her
house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the
dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
birthday on November 19th.
* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go
out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said,
as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.
* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I
who used to have to read the menu when you were
small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and
let me return the favor,' I responded.
* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable

conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up
on recent events of each other's life. We talked so
much that we missed the movie.
* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said,
'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me
invite you.' I agreed.
* * *
'How was your dinner date ?'
asked my wife when I got home.
'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,'

I answered.
* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive
heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't
have a chance to do anything for her.
* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a
copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I
paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I
could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two

plates - one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for me.
I love you, son.'
* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance of
saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved
ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time
they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till 'some other time.'
* * *
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back
to normal after you've had a baby..... somebody
doesn't know that once you're a mother,

'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by
instinct ... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring ....
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a'good' mother,

your child will 'turn out good'....

somebody thinks a child comes with
directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a
mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader
with his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can't love the second child as
much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't
have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother
is labor and delivery....

somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus

for the first day of kindergarten ...
or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her
child gets married....somebody doesn't know that
marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.
* * *
Somebody said a mother's job is done when
her last child leaves home....somebody never had grandchildren.
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her...
somebody isn't a mother.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Am I a Bad Mom?

For the last day and a half I have been feeling really stressed/sad. Is it possible to get baby blues when your baby is 4 months old or is that just called depression lol. Anyway, I feel a little like my life is in some sort of horrible disarray and I can't catch up. Our apartment is in serious need of a clean, laundry is piling up around me, I don't even want to talk about how I look...and whoever the hell said the pounds just fall off while you are breastfeeding is a dirty liar. Am I doing something wrong? I mean, I am not the healthiest eater around but I think I am at least somewhat healthy...I eat things like chicken breast, yogurt, nuts, fruit, veggies, and a little cheese. I NEVER eat fast food and extremely rarely do I go out to eat...I usually cook. My downfall = sweets. But here is the thing, I really don't eat THAT many sweets...I have maybe one or two treats a week and its not like I'm eating an entire candy bar or a whole bag of chocolates. I also just got back into working out although, I do admit I'm not being super hardcore about it, it's more like I am easing back into working out. Nevertheless, why isn't the weight just falling off?! I have been exclusively breastfeeding for four and a half months and eating mostly healthy with a moderate workout 3 times a week. Is my occasional treat the culprit? What do I need to do to get this gross weight off?

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom. Each night as I go to bed I get excited for the next day because I get to spend it with Kamryn. I just have been feeling a little inadequate lately. Like I feel guilty for wanting to clean the house because I feel like I should be spending the time with Kammy instead. Is that crazy? Do other moms think this too or am I just a nut? Also, does anyone ever feel like they can't entertain their child enough? Lately, Kammy has been doing this loud grunting thing at me whenever she is bored with something. She will do it when I am taking a shower or making dinner or doing laundry and it makes me feel awful! I feel bad that I am boring her and fear that because I am not giving her my full attention, she is going to hate me or something. Am I paranoid or what? Ugh, I hope this feeling goes away because it sucks.